I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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