I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
