By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I am naked and annoyed.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
