I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
