if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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