The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
My breasts were aching with rage.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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