Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
