I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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