is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
