Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
