Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
