Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
