No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
