we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just pee around me
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
