Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize