u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
