you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
