If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize