Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize