You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
