I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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