apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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