that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
