dude i'm inner monologue high
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
