And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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