Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
