She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
