If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
My day in three words: secret purse cake
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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