Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize