My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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