so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
