Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
