Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
