I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
