I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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