drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
