Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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