Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
you never un-have a 4some
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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