Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
youre lurking in front of me
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just cut my nipple shaving
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
