It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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