Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm jealous of your bromance
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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