Non-Jews are for practice
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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