Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
