"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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