she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
