Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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