One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
