It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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