My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
