I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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