I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
