Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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