My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
