dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
