He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
