If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
