just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
