u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
