two words: eviction party
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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