Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
