We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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