I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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