I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just cut my nipple shaving
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
