You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
