bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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